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I'm Gonna 𝙁𝙐𝘾𝙆𝙄𝙉𝙂 𝙀𝙓𝙋𝙇𝙊𝘿𝙀 𝑎𝑛𝑑 I EXPLODED
(ɴᴏᴛ ɪɴ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴏʀᴅᴇʀ)

CW: disturbing imagery, blood, transmissible mental illness Nov 29, 2023 · ⒈–⒑ · Part I + Part II
Nov 29, 2023
Lost Eros
I
m.v.d. · 💙
I EXPLODED I've got the life to write but I haven't the time. . 𝐽𝑎𝑚𝑒𝑠 𝑄𝑢𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑖𝑛 𝐷𝑒𝑣𝑖𝑛𝑒     J. Q. D. 💙 🩸 🩸 🩸 𝚖.𝚟.𝚍. 𝐴 𝑅𝐸𝐴𝐿 𝐿𝐼𝐹𝐸 𝑇𝐴𝐿𝐸 𝑂𝐹 𝐵𝐿𝑂𝑂𝐷 𝑂𝑁 𝑇𝐻𝐸 𝑇𝑅𝐴𝐼𝐿 . . .
FALL DOWN/GO BOOM
↓ 𝐅𝐔𝐂𝐊𝐄𝐃 ↓𝙵𝙰𝙲𝙴 & ↓𝐁𝐔𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐃
🩸 𝐒𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐋𝐃𝐄𝐑 * 🩸𝑆𝑇𝐴𝑅 🩸IN . . . 𝑠𝑤𝑎𝑛, 𝑑𝑖𝑣𝑒: . Sold the shit out of a solo headbutt to no-one with the blade-job and everything. .
𝚂 𝙸 𝙲 𝙺 𝙱 𝚄 𝙼 𝙿 ☆☆☆☆☆ 𝚖 𝚊 𝚝 𝚌 𝚑
HEY, HEY: If you really want to pop a crowd? . Slump yourself. Watch the eyes die late. Bust your head. Buy-rate. . It bled and it led. Rubedo red. Pronenesses' spreading. I pronounce you deadeaned. Thud. Incredible. . High buy-rate and a hot crowd. Get the shroud. Get the stretcher. Elevate. Apply pressure. . запой Pity me. . Get at me. . Leave a comment Hit me.
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HEADSLUSH BONK CONCUSS
Farced confession of an aftersmash. Braindead mess. Desecrated. Self-destructed. Blackout crash. Rum and ash. Hack and slash. Fuck. Add the math. A coroner's stack. Fucked my face up. Scrape and slash. Inflected wound. Gauzy gash. . But: Must say. In kind of a cool way. Kabuki made-up. Ready for runway. Stumbling toxicology. Acknowledge me. Red-ringed blue-eyed blood-blonde on concrete. Self-defeated. Deceit of the devil's detail. Lopped-off skinkwhip. Generation retail. . Clean me. Up and out.
CLEARINGHOUSE (OSTRAKON)
Send out a wellness check. I'll heal soon. Bury me to my neck. I feel you.
DRY CLEAN ONLY
Took a tumble. Upside of it's: No fumble. Had the presence of mind to shield my sweater. All the better. Boiled wool. Blundered blood. In a backward dream. A recreation. A crime scene. Doubled-over halving schemes.
OW, FUCK, OW, FUCK, OW, FUCK
It's hard to type. Hurts to type. It always did. Maybe it should.
* (𝑠𝑙𝑖𝑛𝑔-𝑠𝑜𝑛𝑔) Thought it was a broken shoulder but it's probably a torn rotator cuff. Been a weak stupid tough. Last Wednesday's party left me rough. Swizzled laced and doctored-up.
WAITING FOR THE COCONUT TO DROP

One time I saw Brant Bjork at the (now-defunct) Satellite in Silverlake.

He and his band played a fairly mellow set.

Not the sort of thing that called for a lot of crowd engagement.

About half an hour in, between songs, the band was tuning its instruments.

A Rather Large 40+ Man well-north of three-hunnert pounds and reddened and utterly sotted found his way to the stage.

"ROCK 'N' FUCKIN' ROOOOOOOOOOLL" he'd declared to no-one in particular, and — cliche fulfilled — he dove to that same no-one.

Too soused to brace, the body burst amidst the unwilling.

We received him in blood as we did not in flesh.

Took the EMTs at least 45 minutes to show.

He was wearing a wedding ring.

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𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑑𝑟𝑎𝑔 𝑜𝑓 𝑏𝑎𝑔𝑔𝑎𝑔𝑒 . . . MOVING ON, IN ADHERENCE WITH THE POLICY OF SLUM CLEARANCE AS LAID OUT HERE, I WILL BE COMBING THE DEATHS OF THE SUBSTACK DRAFTS FOR VIABLE CARRION. PART II: 'I'm Gonna Fucking Explode' is a combo-platter of thusly-plumbed nuggets and NEW INPUT. ↓↓↓ I'm Gonna 𝙁𝙐𝘾𝙆𝙄𝙉𝙂 𝙀𝙓𝙋𝙇𝙊𝘿𝙀 𝙼𝚊𝚡𝚒𝚖𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝙰𝚍𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚊𝚋𝚕𝚎 𝚂𝚊𝚖𝚙𝚕𝚎 𝙿𝚊𝚌𝚔 💙
USER ILLUSION
"JUST PAY FOR THE PAPER" Tony said . and . LIKE THAT I'm . O F F . Scorn of a pronghorned prophetess' scoff. Buttressed with hatred. Unabated. Assrotted wastrel. . Menial piss-abled. (YELLOW TONE IDEA) Warwageable. (RED TONE IDEA) .
SIT WITH ME NOW AND YOU STAND TO INHERIT A FORTUNE —
God-King Weasel. Asleep at the easel. . It'd please me to believe. Leave me to grief. Crisp underfoot. Wigging out. A wagged tail's proud. High-aloft aloof. Afoot. Climb upon the roof. No-net no-look. Gloriless and disemboweled. . TO CREATE IN PUBLIC.
CACO ERGO SUM
In one night's waking slumber. I lost a grimoire and won another. Psychic cannibal drooling double. The cruelty of swords. The lowering of levels. The restriction of words. Worth less than ever. Discount clever dust-collector. Remaindered. Fractional, factionless. Perverse incentives. Peeping pent-up. Surface shot. Buried splendor. Send her. Knockeyed grin of a rotgut vendor. Blueblond blender. Slow sapphire drip. Steeple-tip. Manicured salesman's hands. Waved with abandon. Like a drowningman. Or a downtown's planning. Keep grasping but that world's gone. Keep asking without function. You've overdressed for the lydian luncheon. Queued up but your lines are all punched-in. Black-cat. Cute cut. In a sassoon zoo. Artlessly warring. Tipped-canoe. Toppled colossus. Felled and felt-up. Croupier green. Celluloid svelte. Theater screens.
MODEL POISONING
Nothing ended amicably. No amity no comity. Nothing brotherly. Senses culled. Null. All calm. An object for ownership. Too washed-up for worship. Nullo. Nullo. Nothing in slo-mo. Absence compounding. Instinct rousing, doused. Snuffed flames sniffling excuses. Trifling abuses. Try not to be useless. Lest the shoe fit. Boy. Young man on the verge of being something other than. Unforced errata. Penitentiary pińata. Learnt nothing. Burnt off'ring. Salvage title champion of the world. Savaged in the scrapyard. Strung along for pearls. Over-ass on-end. Possum-assed pretender. Ass-gasket forfeit. Art-portrait forgeit. Auspicious palms, extended. Under seizure render. Sunshine salesman. Lowly leisure vendor. . 𝘼𝙏 𝙒𝙃𝘼𝙏 𝘾𝙊𝙎𝙏 𝙋𝘼𝙍𝘼𝘿𝙄𝙎𝙀 . . . ❓
"I am terrified of moving pictures. They are the dreams of an opium addict. From a single inch of film emerge giants who fill the whole theater." — Edogawa Ranpo
I am ready for the ocean.
RED HOT (I'VE GOT A THING)
Count backwards from fuck. Regress into near-life consciousness. Slide sideways. You know what you were. Soon enough you'll've begun speaking in "I"-statements, which is to say first-person. . IMMERSION. . Listen: This is all you, man. "I" didn't do it. You did. Got it? . . . .
A MIND FOREVER VOYEURING also known as BOIL THE OCEAN (A Movie You Made to Scare Yourself) also known as [slide missing]

I saw from her nametag that her name was Breanna and I rolled its syllables in my mind's mouth as I wished to roll her rosebud nipple-tips ever-visible peek-pique-peaking through the thinness of lisle cotton uniform here sunlit in this college town night's becoming as the shadows play long on the slender of swan-neck and waist-tuck.

SHE INTERRUPTS:

"Do you, um, know what you, like, want?"

The café buzzed cuckoo overclock.

I must presume her a student and wonder involuntarily at her field of study (wonder at her puddles and wonder at her muddies) — perhaps she's a classicist or a basket-weaver with an ass full of Lisztlessness that I could wrap-up and tap out as a tasket for gifted blasphemy, tisketry.

CLUELESS CLAIROL

But I ain't afraid of the number thirteen, and I've got Satan on my team, looming thunder, teeming legions, Hollywood regency.

Fledged allegiance.

Far-flung.

She's young and I've clung close-'nough near.

Nested.

A lamp-lit in effigy.

I'm in a trenchcoat and there's trillions of me.

Possessed electricity.

Infested.

One name pluriform entities.

. "Um, sir?" . I imagine her stuffed with me. The policeman in line behind me's baton audibly hardens. "I beg pardon?" . Her again: "I asked if you know what you want." Stammering "Ah-ah-ah-ah" and I'm "cortado-and-a-muffin" in a huff. Gushing. She's back at me with "nine-fifty." I laugh. Times are fucked up. Nine-fifty. . I tip my fedora to her. 25%. Or more. And I'll tip it again. Upon the glow at the end. One moment more. Espresso foaming. While I fingerpaint my name. Tribute to the store. Where she's just tallied my muffin. My cortado. My score. Where we touch sistine grime. When we're done conversing. I grin a grin she'll surely understand. As an invitation to kissing. ("One day that cat'll come on demand") . I have jazz voices in my head. Different registers. She's at the register. Breasts heavier. In a sigh. She's done with this shit. So am I. .
"[in those days] nobody knew who Rupert Murdoch was or what he looked like." — John Langley, COPS
░░ RENÉ GRUAU STYLE — RED-BLONDE MAN / SHARKSKIN SUIT / LOS FELIZ HEADLIGHTS / BLUE BLOOD RAIN ░░
chic stylish illustration in the style of René Gruau of a thin and lithely muscular red-blonde long-haired man with an angular jawline and high cheekbones lit by headlights in the los feliz neighborhood of los angeles, the man is wearing movie star sunglasses an elegant tailored futuristic textured sharkskin suit a supple textured uniquely-knit turtleneck sweater with a wide-brimmed dark felt hat and sleek italian boots, blue blood falls like rain from the nighttime sky with [prompt truncated in source]
presented in
FRAGMENTED REALITY

a subsidiary of
𝘟𝘌𝘕𝘖𝘊𝘏𝘙𝘖𝘔𝘈
"Inevitability — Delivered."
I AM A BLEEDING CHARACTER.     IT IS OK.     THANK YOU.
SELECT ME? 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐃𝐈𝐑𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐕𝐄 𝐂𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐎𝐑 . . . 𝐉𝐀𝐌𝐄𝐒 𝐐𝐔𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐈𝐍 𝐃𝐄𝐕𝐈𝐍𝐄 / a / k / a JQD
is a self-taught integrated media company
founded haunted and enchanted in 𝙻𝙾𝚂𝚃 𝙴𝚁𝙾𝚂, 𝙲𝙰.
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"Thank you . . .
Thank you."
💙
Discussion about this post — verified reviews
XXIII · Nov 29, 2023 Friendly Uncle ★★★★★ Verified Purchase Slice of Life of Chad sex addict One of the few non fiction and non self improvement books that was interesting until the very last chapter. Usually an autobiographical book about a 40y old guy with 9% bodyfat screwing three teenagers a week would be depressing, but somehow author manages to make himself pathetic at the same time in a funny way. He's humping and crying. Many funny moments and internet references.
Brett M ★★★★★ Verified Purchase worth it I bought this book and now I can't stop having bareback sex with young Asian girls. Thanks!
Jay ★★★★★ Verified Purchase amazing. I wish more authors were as brave as this.
D S J A Psychotic ramblings of a porn/sex addicted man ★★☆☆☆ Verified Purchase Honestly it has a few good excerpts, especially the one on McDonald's. I found myself laughing more times than not because of the sheer absurdity of what this guy thinks/writes. I actually am just giving a poor rating because of all the misspellings I found. It's relatable in some ways except for the tongue in cheeks comments on pedophilia. It's like yeahh, speak for yourself buddy. If you're looking for a good perverted read you might get your moneys worth. For all else its a vapid recollection of society, women, and the pons brain of the male mind. Certainly unique but Charles did what this guy does with a lot more taste. Read sometimes like a cheap version of "Women".
Tim W. ★★★★★ Verified Purchase Funny and insightful. A great introduction on the Manosphere and what it takes to be a real man these days, who can still get some pussy in our overly woke "society". Take a page from this book, men: women may say no but we all know they don't really mean it.
1 reply by James Quentin Devine 1 more comment...
Lost Eros, CA · Nov 2023.